


a life i always knew but never had

by harmonsangel



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Gay Pride, Pride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:35:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24590926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harmonsangel/pseuds/harmonsangel
Summary: I didn't have the time to make this as special as I'd have liked it to be (after all Pride!Sanvers is one of my favourite concepts of all time) but I hope it's enjoyable nonetheless.This work is a gift for the amazingly talented Agustina or @allysoncalleigh on Twitter :) thankyou for all you do, and never forget, Sanvers is Endgame!
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Maggie Sawyer, Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer
Comments: 18
Kudos: 58
Collections: Secret Sanvers | A Sanvers Pride Event





	a life i always knew but never had

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xLittleScorpion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLittleScorpion/gifts).



**June 2017**

Maggie sighs happily and props her chin up in the palm of her hand. The crowd has thinned in this particular area as the majority of people have followed the parade onwards through the city. Maggie and Alex will join them shortly, but right now, she wants to savour the moment. From her vantage point perched on the curb, surrounded by discarded flags, streamers, and assorted rainbow paraphernalia, Maggie has the perfect view of her gorgeous, blissful, pride-flushed girlfriend.

Alex is a few feet away, surrounded by a group of men wearing very little and decked head to toe in rainbows. They are absolutely doting on her, hanging on her every word as she tells her story and declares how happy she is to be at her first Pride. Even though she is only wearing her regular jeans and combat boots, together with a t-shirt proclaiming ‘love is love’ and a flag draped around her shoulders like a cape, Maggie thinks no Pride Parade has ever been blessed with such a beautiful sight. National City is lucky to have her, and so is Maggie. 

She thinks back to her own first Pride event, way back in college. She remembers it fondly, a defining moment in which she had finally come to understand that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. She hadn’t even come with a girlfriend, just some friends from the LGBT+ society, but she recalls how special it was to be surrounded by others who understood her exact struggle, for the first time ever. It was also the first time she had ever felt truly free, unburdened by the expectations of others and utterly, unapologetically herself. There’s nothing like it, and she feels honoured to be part of this experience for Alex.

Her wander down memory lane is interrupted when Alex comes bounding over, beaming and drunk on life and pride (OK, maybe she is also slightly drunk in the more traditional sense).

“And there’s my beautiful girlfriend,” she shouts, enveloping Maggie in a fierce hug as if they haven’t just seen each other five minutes ago. She spins them around, and Maggie feels her feet leaving the ground. The irony is not lost on her. The ground beneath her hasn’t felt particularly solid since the day Alex walked onto her crime scene.

Pausing for breath, Alex rests their foreheads together. Screwing her face up adorably and pouting, she whispers:

“One of the gays messed up my flag.”

Sure enough, the orange, pink and white stripes of the lesbian flag they are both sporting as face point do look a little skewwhiff. Maggie chuckles.

“You look adorable.”

Alex still towers over her, even with Maggie’s combats and their thick platforms. (She misses her outrageously colourful Pride converse, but is secure in her decision that they belong in the Pride shrine in her apartment instead of on the feet of a thirty-two-year-old professional). Their height difference means that Alex has to stoop a little to kiss her, but it’s not like they’re not used to it by now. Maggie throws her arms around her girlfriend’s shoulders in a gesture she already feels as if she’s been doing her whole life.

They’ve been together for less than a year, but both are well aware there’s no turning back now. Maggie feels like she’s been hurtling off the edge of a cliff without a parachute since the day Alex kissed her in the bar, since the day Alex took a hammer to her carefully constructed defences and left irreparable damage. It doesn’t feel like damage, though, and it doesn’t feel like hurtling off a cliff. In fact, Maggie has never felt so safe. And loved, and happy, and confident, and carefree, and relaxed, and…well, the list goes on. 

Maggie always thinks that Alex is the most beautiful woman in the world, but there is something so special about this version of her. She relishes these moments, getting to see Alex relinquish control for a moment and truly let herself _live._ She has never seen anything so breath-taking. Once again, she thanks her lucky stars for the opportunity to share this first experience, and hopes for many more. She can’t wait for their lifetime of firsts.

“Happy Pride, my love.”

\---

Later, when they’ve met up with Vasquez and some friends and Alex has been carried off in a tipsy, sweaty, doting, gloriously happy crowd of rainbows once again, Maggie catches her eye across the bar. Alex winks ( _read: emphatically blinks. She really can’t wink, and Maggie thinks it’s adorable_ ) and mouths: ‘I love you.’

And Maggie loves a lot of things about Alex, could go on about them for days at a time until someone shut her up, in fact, but that right there is what she loves most. She loves how no matter what they have going on in their lives, regardless of the battles they fight every day, they are always thinking of each other, carrying their love with them everywhere they go like a secret weapon.

And while it’s not a secret (thank God, Maggie thinks, that they live in a world where it doesn’t have to be), what’s between them still feels incredibly private, and important. It’s not a secret, but that doesn’t mean that anyone else will ever understand it. She doesn’t want to sound like a broken record (or a sixteen-year-old boy, for that matter) but Maggie truly doesn’t know how she got so lucky. She almost can’t get her head around the fact that Alex Danvers loves _her,_ that she might get to marry her one day. But she knows one thing. She knows she will never let her go.

Maggie smiles and winks back (properly). This has been one of the best days of her life, more special, even, than her own first Pride all those years ago. She wishes her fourteen-year-old self could see her now. She tries to send her a mental message:

_Look, kid. Look at us go. I’m not afraid anymore, in fact I’m celebrating! I’m celebrating what’s different about us, because it isn’t something to be ashamed of. I’m not afraid anymore, and I’m so, so happy. You’ll get there. Don’t listen to what anyone else says. You don’t need them to see you, or get you, or even like you. You’re already good._

_And just you wait until She struts onto your crime scene in a few years’ time. She’ll make it all worth it. You’ll see._

Maggie has known since she was seventeen, when this beautiful community welcomed her with open arms, that she is not alone in the world. She knows now that no matter how hard the fight is, they will stand up and they will fight it together.

Being loved by Alex is like that, she thinks. She makes her feel as if she could do anything. Forget the real superhero out there, whizzing around in the sky with a rainbow cape, for a moment Maggie feels as if she has all the power in the world.

Coming to terms with herself is the hardest thing she has ever and will ever have to do, but here she is, still taking on the world and giving it everything she’s got. And now she gets to do that with the love of her life by her side. Thinking about this brings a tear to her eye, and a whole other suitcase of emotions that she can’t even begin to unpack. She can put a finger on one of them, though, and wishes so badly that she really could go back in time, to talk to her younger self and make her feel it, too.

She feels proud.


End file.
